OLD PEOPLE HOME WITH HEROS
by SatanistVampireKuro
Summary: This is a humor story- or al least should be- It's about the Z Gang but old and in a nursing home! How exciting! ^_^ VERY funny!! Please Review! tell me what you think!! ^_____________^!
1. Default Chapter

A/N: Hello, this is my first Fan-Fic ever- Well I mean the first one im actually writing on the computer. DISCLAIMER: No of course I do not own DBZ because if I did Vegeta and Bulma would hate each other- I would be a charter and married to both Piccolo and Vegeta. In every back round there would be me- riding on a giant pig yelling in Japanese. Also there would be lots of scenes with Vegeta naked- Yes I know you all want to see that ~_^ and there'd be plenty more crazy stuff in there. NONE of the Kakarott's family members would save the day- Only Vegeta, and Piccolo. And I would make Piccolo a man- ~_^ I'd draw him a loooong thingy ~_^. DEADICATIONS: This is dedicated to My sister- Witch is a Fan-Fic Obsesser. My Best Friend Heather- ::Can't wait till summer:: My Love- He knows who he is and he means the world to me- ::Really can't wait till summer:: My friends-Lil' Pat, Majin, Brian, Mike, Jesse, Soul-::Gonna beat him up::- Uhm, And To any one I have forgotten- If I did not mention your name feel free to slap the living hell out of me. and prepare to die ~_^. Well now on to the Fic. I don't really care you people like it or not- But please Review and tell me your thoughts- Flames accepted- Flames make me feel good about tracking you down, hacking into your computer and sending viruses to your hard-drive ). And this is going to be a short one- but hopefully funny.  
  
It was normal day at the nursing home, old people whining because they're old. In the darken corner of this nursing home was an old rocking chair. In this chair sat a Vegeta, his cold black eyes glared at the window as if he saw someone he hated. His spiky black hair and thin strands of gray all over. Wrinkles lined his worn old face. Vegeta's skinny frail arms draped on the rocking chairs arm rests, his bony fingers gripped the faded wood. The dark night like blue slippers he wore were fit snuggly on his wrinkly feet, and his faded bright blue PJ clothes fit loosely on his tried body. Creek Creek the chair whined loudly as it rocked back and froth. The now old man closed his sleepy eyes and sighed deeply. "Vegeta!" An old voice croaked form the table behind him, "Vegeta!" it repeated again. "What?!" Vegeta opened his eyes rocked the chair more, not bothering to look back at the horrord voice that disturbed him for so long. Another old man stood up and bent over his sliver-metal walker. Vegeta heard loud shuffling sounds form the man that approached. "Vegeta come and join us!" The voice sounded happy and chipper. "NO for that last time Kakarott!" Vegeta croaked loudly. The one known as Kakarott shuffled in front of Vegeta. Two black happy eyes started at him, his wrinkly fingers held on tightly to his cold mental walker. Kakarott's hair, just like Vegeta's, had gray hair sticking out. He smiled brightly, lines of wrinkles bunched up in the corner of his smiling mouth. "Join us! Please!" He exclaimed again. "Oh, how I wish I could kick your ass right now" Vegeta murmured. "What was that Vegeta??" "Nothing Kakarotto just leave me alone, stop trocering me." "But I'm not" "Yes you are. Every day of my life since I meet your sorry ass I've had to deal with you." "Vegeta, That's not very nice" A woman's voice chipped in with disappointment. "No NO! KILL ME NOW!!" Vegeta screamed in horror. One of the nurses walked over to him and leaned down, Her young face hovered in his way between him and Kakarott's throat. "What's wrong Mr. Briefs?" The nurse said happily. "BRIEFS!! THAT NAME!! GOD NO!!" "But. that's your name. Vegeta Briefs.." "NO WOMAN!! IT'S Vegeta! V-E-G-.. Eta! GOT THAT?!" The nurse stepped back slowly, "what??" Vegeta shook his clenched fist at her, "Do you hear me woman?! Vegeta PRINCE OF ALL SAYAINS!!!" "Uh Yeah" The nurse turned around and walked off rolling her green eyes and mumbling, "These old people get weirder and weirder" "Stupid woma.." "Vegeta!!!" The old woman's voice croaked again. Vegeta shifted himself so he was able to see her. Shoulder length blue hair streaked with gray lined the woman's wrinkled face. Two dull blue eyes glared at Vegeta. "What is it Bulma?" He rasped. "Stop being so rude! I swear you're the most stubborn man alive!" Bulma folded her thin arms under her chest, over the bright red T-shirt she wore. "Yeah Vegeta" Another man snickered softly. "Shut up midget!!" Vegeta croaked loudly, his unblinking stare shifted to the other man. "Hmph Some things never change" Krillen stubbed up his nose.(A/n: Or he would if he had one ;x) Vegeta notice the others who sat around the table. Yamcha, Chi-Chi, Oolong. He looks like Bacon Vegeta snickered as he glanced at Oolong. Oolong did in fact look like a piece of bacon shaped as a fat pig. Yamcha had clearly lost all his looks, His face was like a big wrinkley blob with eyes, eyebrows, a nose, and a mouth, arms, legs and clothes. Plus he had a big shining bald spot were his hair has fallen out. And Chi-Chi looked the same, Just a bit older looking but non-or-less the same. Vegeta just sighed and turned around, Kakarott was still standing there, talking to himself, or something. Vegeta closed his heavy eyelids, but then he heard a loud sound of the doors the room opening and in stepped.  
A/N: Well how was that?? Good I hope! I'll write more tomorrow! ^_^ Hope ya'll like it PLEASE review! 


	2. People come to visit!

A/N: Well here is the second Chapter to this odd story! ^.^ Hope you like it better than the last! ;x  
  
"Daddy!" A young woman ran swiftly Vegeta's side and hugged him tightly with her skinny, but strong, arms. A pair of lush lips pressed against his cold cheek, and the smell of expensive perfume filled his senses. He coughed coarsely and struggled to push the women away. She stood back, near the rambling Kakarott, and looked at her father with her sparkling blue eyes, examining him.  
  
"What's wrong Father?" She spoke with a soft tone and brushed a strand of blue hair form her face.  
  
"You and everyone else here are killing me!!" He barked, coughing loudly, the smell of perfume lingering around him.  
  
He stood up and grabbed his cane and whacked Bura with it. Vegeta shuffled away mumbling cruse words under his breath; he stopped and heard someone's old cracked voice muttering words he could not understand. The cold black eyes shifted the corner not to far away form him. There, standing with a long wooden cane was a tall wrinkled man.  
  
"Stupid Namek"  
  
"Vegeta." Piccolo glared at him, "How long you in for?"  
  
"What?" Vegeta stared at the Namek who looked exactly like Kami.  
  
"How long you in for? Don't fool me, I know you were convicted"  
  
"What the hell are you rambling about you Green Been?!"  
  
"You know exactly what I'm talking about! I was there in the room when you were convicted.Second degree am I correct?"  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"How you do it? You sly bastard, Cut the throat? Shot in the head?"  
  
"Ok listen to me you ass chomper! I have no clue what you're talking about!!!"  
  
Piccolo looked at him, his eyes glazed over, then went back to the confused stare. He now held his wooden cane as if it were a gun.  
  
"You ain't form these parts are ya?" He spoke with a western accent.  
  
"WHAT THE FUCK?!"  
  
"I'm Sheriff Piccolo and your under arrest!"  
  
"No, you're a crazy as Namek and I'm out of here" Vegeta turned and shuffled away form Piccolo.  
  
Piccolo's vision changed and he laughed insanely and sat down, hunched in the corner rocking steadily back and froth. Vegeta continued to walk and listen to people talking. The door suddenly burst open and in jumped a man with a helmet over his head and ridiculous clothing.  
  
"SAIYA MAN!!" He yelled loudly, and then a woman dressed exactly like him jumped in and landed in his awaiting arms.  
  
"AND SAIYA WOMAN!!" She shouted loudly.  
  
People in the nursing home groaned in pain form the ringing in their ears, and just when they thought it was over another woman cart wheeled in the room.  
  
"ANND SAIYA GIRL!!!" the woman screeched, standing now on her hands.  
  
"TOGETHER WE ARE HERE TO RIDE THE WHEELCHAIRS OF JUSTICE THREW THE DOORS OF SENIOR CITIZEN HOME AND VISIT ARE PARENTS!!!!!!" ((A/N: Thank you Alex for the wonderful suggestion! ;x ))  
  
People stared at the family with bulging eyes. Vegeta just walked out of the room to save himself form embarrassment. The three ran to there parents and hugged them tightly. They all sat down and talked for awhile, but sadly, they had to leave because some where out there the was some injustice occurring! ((A/N: Can't you tell I dislike them?))The scurried to their feet and shot out of the glass window. Vegeta shuffled back in when he heard the window glass breaking. Bura herself got up and kissed her mother good bye and existed figuring her father, as stubborn as he was, was going to hide.  
  
"The fools leave yet?" He said with his deep voice, looking around slowly.  
  
No one answered him so he just shuffled back to his old abanded rocking chair and sat down slowly as he heard the phone ringing, his ears twitched very slightly and she shifted his weight to side and listened as foot steps neared him.  
  
"Mr. Briefs, Phone call" The young nurse said handing him to phone.  
  
"Hello?" Vegeta said croaked....  
  
((A/N: Well that's all for now- I'll write the next chapter tomorrow! Bais!)) 


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